Archive for Do More

28 Jul 2013

Reduce Life Down to the Lowest Common Denominator

No Comments Be More, Building Confidence, Decision Making, Do More, Empowerment, Fearless Living, Goal Setting, Life Coaching, Live your best Life, Stress Management

Lowest-Common-DenominatorMath was not my subject. In fact my poor Uncle Dennis probably still has the occasional nightmare about his time spent tutoring me. Me, at 17 through Math 11. Yikes. One concept that I do remember was the idea of reducing parts into their lowest common denominators so that they were easier to work with. It occurred to me the other day that every day I guide clients by breaking down big complex sums of overwhelming obstacles into manageable parts. The feeling that something is too big to take on is the reason behind things like procrastination, avoidance and plain old not doing. People get stuck because they don’t know how to break down big parts into smaller parts.  I help people do that everyday.

The process of breaking down life into manageable parts isn’t where the work ends, but where it begins. We believe we know how to do “life” but the inside voice that speaks gets in your way. Our thoughts sway to  objections to getting at “it.” Things like: “I am too tired,” “I don’t know how to do this,” “I am overwhelmed,” and “I can’t think when I am overwhelmed.” And then we stop. We turn on the TV, surf the net, take out the garbage – basically anything that allows us to avoid having to confront actually doing “it.” A skilled personal coach assists by breaking down your resistance to the process.

When working with me, people learn what really is at the heart of the matter. What is that voice of fear saying in your subconscious while you are actively choosing to do or not do?  I assist people in taking the time to really break down the internal objections that come up.  Together, we take the time to hear what the excuses in your head are really saying.  When you identify these life becomes easier. You can learn how to talk back to the voice inside your head.

Coach Yourself Exercise

What is it that you say you want to be doing?  Name three things.

Example:

  1. Selling cupcakes at the Farmer’s Market
  2. Exercising regularly
  3. Socializing more.

Now, name what your excuses are for not doing that.

I’ll walk you through one:

Selling cupcakes at the Farmer’s Market

1) Too tired after working all week

2) Watching TV too much and zoning out

3) Got distracted by family, my wife wanted me to do a bunch of chores.

Now, reduce selling cupcakes. Do the work. What is a list of 50 things you will need to do to sell cupcakes at the Farmer’s Market. What? 50 things!  Yes, 50 things. Be real and honest here.  To actually be to the point of being able to sell cupcakes at the farmer’s market is going to take many different steps. What are all the things you would need to know and do before you would be ready to actually do that?

Here are some examples:

What recipe am I going to use? What am I going to charge?  How much is each cupcake cost? Where do I buy ingredients? What equipment will I use? How do I register for market? When does it run? What am I going to call the cupcakes…and the list goes on. While making that list, pay close attention to the voice. What is it saying to you?

Your visceral reaction to that list is the thing that is running the show in your life. Use the tool of reduction to get to the bottom of what your excuses are excusing you from. It isn’t about the TV. It is about what you are avoiding when you confront the work associated with actually doing your dream.

Let’s do the work. As a Coach, I am your tutor. Just like my Uncle Dennis, I get you to sit and actually think about what you are doing in life and why. It is amazing what can happen when you get clear.

05 Jul 2013

Full Steam Ahead into the Business of Shifting!

No Comments Be More, Building Confidence, Decision Making, Do More, Empowerment, Fearless Living, Goal Setting, Life Coaching, Motivation

I am taking a big leap this July. I will be flying totally solo into the horizon with my coaching services and saying good-bye to my wonderful colleagues at Junior Achievement of BC, the not for profit group that I have worked with since 2004. Time for this coach to take a leap!

It hasn’t really been a leap though. It has been more like a really slow descent into a new territory. The falling isn’t really the scary part; the fear is about what is going to happen when I get there. As I get closer to hitting the ground, I don’t actually feel like running.  There are so many directions to take. If I put on my coaching hat, I know that the first step is to get clear, and usually the best way to do that is stop. Stopping however is totally counter intuitive. Fear is telling me to run, to do something, anything…and to make it quick. Experience and awareness is telling me to pause. I have to get quiet and listen for that quieter whisper that is leading me to where I want to be. In the mean time, I need to stick with my conviction.

Conviction is remembering what you know for sure. I know for sure that I am choosing to say good-bye to the best professional experience of my career by leaving JA. I also know that it is time to go. I worked really hard to be at the place where I can say good-bye and feel good about it, hence, the slow descent. For the past 7 years I have slowly built my coaching practice by putting in the time where it matters most to me, and this is with clients.

What I know for sure is that when I “land” and am on my own in new territory I will get to work with even more people in a way that makes me come alive and that is as Coach Beth. In my coaching space, I put on a hat that transforms me into my best self. As a regular person in the world with responsibilities and a family, I have times of struggle just like everyone else. But as Coach Beth, I get to lay that aside. My role becomes the one that sees the brilliance that is inside of everyone. Nothing is cooler than supporting people to light that up. I have my dream job.

So now is the time! No matter what new directions I decide to take, I know for sure that individual one on one coaching is where it is at for me. I love it.

My humble request is to send me some love over the next couple of months! As I land into this new territory, I know that the love and support of the people that I reach with my blog, newsletter, website and social media accounts will be the fuel that keeps me going.  I am cringing writing this paragraph. It is a risk to ask for help! But I am going to be true and do what I know is right. Please send me some love this summer!

Send me your referrals of people you know who could be doing so much better than they are. Tell your friends that are trudging through one horrible life experience to another to try coaching with Beth.  It really does work.

Those that have worked with me, send me your testimonials of where you are now. All of my clients know, but it bears repeating that I LOVE to hear from you. Drop me a line.

For the rest of you reading, LIKE and share my social media stuff! We all know that is where it is at these days! If you haven’t already you can find me on Facebook by searching Beth Veenkamp- Constructing Life Coaching, and on Twitter at @BethVeenkamp.

Thank you for reading and stay tuned for more! Your support is so valued, and I am so grateful to have you as part of my journey.

23 May 2013

Isolation

No Comments Be More, Building Confidence, Do More, Empowerment, Fearless Living, Life Coaching, Live your best Life, Motivation, Relationships

isolatedcatNobody but nobody gets by on this earth on their own. -Maya Angelou

What assumptions are you making about life that includes the thought or feeling that you must do it alone? What about the thought or feeling that you have tried to connect but there just isn’t anyone out there for you. Are you feeling like a reject? Like you can’t fit in? That you are just doing it wrong?

Those thoughts and feelings are fear based. When you have them you have an opportunity to stop the soundtrack of unworthiness that is keeping you stuck and unfulfilled.

One of the best ways to do this is to talk it out. Everyone needs someone that they can air all of this out with. Happy people have this quality in common – relationships. Happy people have a sense of connection and belonging that makes all the rest of the crap of life worthwhile.

If you do not have your go to people, then what do you have? How do you process all that STUFF that goes on in your head? How do you possible get perspective on it all?

Isolation is one of the deepest, most painful expressions of unworthiness. Unless you are really, really good at meditating and visit ashrams often, I urge you to think about who you get by with on this earth. If you feel you are coming up short, here are 3 tips to get you out there and finding your people.

1) Hire me! I coach many people who experience isolation. Working with me works because I assist you in gaining perspective. When you have perspective you can work on shifting yourself into thoughts, feelings and patterns that will get you moving in your desired direction. You will get better results quicker with me than you will on your own. I guarantee that.

2) It is painful to do, but work on becoming a “joiner” The only way to get more of the good stuff is to get out there and join.  A trait common in people who feel isolated is that they do not like to get involved in organizations.  Lack of worth keeps them stuck at home. Thoughts like “what do I have to offer anyone”, keep them from walking dogs at the SPCA, or take a pottery class.  If you are isolated and don’t have your people, you are going to have to commit to getting out and meeting them.

3) Don’t expect to meet your new best friend every time you muster up the courage to get out and do something. Don’t let the results of your first few steps outside of your comfort zone change the truth. Everyone needs to find a place in the world where they feel that they belong. If you are not getting it from your work, or family, then you must go and find that space for yourself. It never ceases to amaze me when clients face the fear of putting themselves out there and the uncomfortable feeling of getting to know people, how much better they start feeling about themselves. Feel better, do better, be more happy. Nobody gets by on this earth on their own. What is keeping you stuck in the belief that you have to?

04 May 2013

Intention + Conviction = Results

No Comments Be More, Building Confidence, Decision Making, Do More, Empowerment, Fearless Living, Life Coaching

If you want something claim it in your gut.

Claim it with conviction – the unwavering knowing that you are on the right course. Conviction is what allows you to stay true to your path, it is the inner knowing that hard work will pay off. If, at first, the results are not obvious, conviction is the tool that you can use to keep yourself going. Most of life is doing the working part in order to arrive at the getting results part. In our immediate gratification world we are trained to believe that instantaneous is better. In real life when that doesn’t happen, many of us get trapped in fears and doubts that end up knocking us off the path.   With conviction you can decide to commit to the most important parts of your dream or goal. Having clarity on your intention helps you stick to it. Intention with conviction is unstoppable.

What can you do today to claim something you want with intention and conviction?

14 Mar 2013

Plant your Seeds this Spring

1 Comment Do More, Motivation, Spring

Spring To DoHopefully by now signs of spring are beginning to emerge wherever you are. The time change heralds longer days and naturally our focus turns to what lie ahead… summer in all it’s glory.

Since the move of the time change to earlier in March thoughts of spring really do come quicker every year. We feel like we better start to get at it when we still have daylight at 6PM. The additional day light at the end of the day makes up for the getting up earlier adjustment. Spring is coming, Spring is coming!

Spring is the set up for your whole year.  What do you want to be ready for by the time summer hits?  Make no mistake about it, spring is the time of year where there is work to be done.  Whether it is taxes, closets, the car or the garden, spring time often means a season of work, and if you can do it right, it will be your most productive time of the year. Don’t object, or reject the hard work of these next couple months, because Spring is where your efforts have the most impact.  Here is why:

1.  Just like a garden, the seeds that you plant in the spring require a lot less maintenance once the hard work of planting is done.  If you need to clean your garage, sort through your closet or do paper work, think of it the same way.  If you decide you are going to embrace the spring and get at it, the results will last all year.  Think about what you will be able to do once that task is done rather than focusing on the overwhelming details in front of you.

2.  When one of the things on your list gets done, it gives way for new things to come up.  Everyone can relate to having that niggly thing that we really want to take care of, but it just keeps hanging around.  Decide to get that thing done this spring.  When you complete that nagging task, you create freedom. It’s off your mind and quite literally has stopped weighing you down.

3.  Clutter, weeds, taxes, overflowing dresser drawers, and the “room we throw all our crap in” literally pulls like a weight on our subconscious.  It gets overwhelming, and that is what stops us from taking action.  Use spring as the catapult to get you moving again.  After a long winter, people are naturally inclined to want to get outside and shake off some of the cobwebs.  Use this  unstoppable force to help you tackle those overwhelming items… once you start the overwhelm lifts.

4.  Think about the results you want.  Since the beginning of the year I have been urging you to think about how you want to feel by the time Christmas rolls around again (yep, I said it!) ~ Ready for a Fabulous February.  What results do you want for yourself by the end of the year?  The time is now.  If you really want to have those feelings, the time is now.  Plant the seeds of your intentions with concerted effort this spring, and the harvest will be yours to enjoy.

Coach Yourself~
Remember what your year intention was back in January.  I hope that you wrote it down.  What 3 things do you need to get at in order to keep the intention in motion?  Do you need to join a group, make a phone call, or ask for help? Write those three things down. Push yourself to take action. Spring is the time!

Related article: Keep Yourself Going This Spring Using Kindness