Archive for Empowerment

09 Nov 2011

How do you handle criticism?

1 Comment Building Confidence, Empowerment

You have been called into the bosses office for a “chat”.  And it isn’t good.

Knowing how to handle criticism is a skill.  How do you handle it?

Do you:
React, challenge,blame, justify, deny, accuse, hide, freeze?

Do you:
Ask for clarity, step up to the plate, brainstorm solutions, and take responsibility?

If you know that your tendency is to do the first set of actions, then I congratulate you. Being aware that you don’t handle negative feedback very well is a critical first step to mastering what really is just a fear response.

Fear responses can be identified as your knee jerk reaction to certain situations. It is that tendency that you rely on to protect you when something feels too big to handle. Yes, fear responses may actually be running your life more than YOU are.

This is where I can offer you some very valuable assistance in breaking the habitual patterns that keep you feeling stuck and unfulfilled. Working with me as your personal Life Coach creates the opportunity to really investigate what your knee jerk reactions are, so that you can identify new ways of being. In other words, think about how it is that you really want to be when you are with someone challenging to you. What qualities do you wish you could pull out and bring to the table with you?  When we get down to the work of defining those qualities, that are personal and unique to you, you WILL start to make real and lasting changes in your life.

Here are some questions to get you started the next time someone comes to you with “feedback”….

Ask:
Am I making this personal when it really isn’t?

What would being “right” about this give me?

What, from all the feedback I received, am I willing to own. What am I willing to let go of?

What do I need now?

Questions such as these help you move through the situation. The next time you find yourself stuck, remember to work on finding the perspective that you need to get you moving again. The more skilled you become at this, the less chance you have of getting seriously stuck in the rut that leaves you unhappy and erodes your confidence. Choose to do the work every day – no matter what criticism comes your way.