Archive for Fearless Living

15 May 2013

Change is a Process, Not an Event

No Comments Be More, Decision Making, Empowerment, Fearless Living, Life Coaching, Live your best Life, Motivation

changeA classic trap of fear is to innately believe that you are fundamentally flawed and won’t ever get “there.” There are things we long for like, “to be comfortable in my own skin” or “that I will like myself” or that “I won’t be lonely anymore.” Thoughts like this damage your ability to continue on your path with the conviction that is required to actually make changes in your life.

Drop the lie that you can ever really “arrive.” Anything worth having in life requires conviction, work, and then maintenance. When you embrace that life is a process you are  then better able to help yourself shift to the mindset of adjusting and carrying on when things get tough. When you drop the belief that you are innately flawed you are allowed to take responsibility for yourself. There isn’t some big hidden mystery of why you are so screwed up! You are believing a fear based lie that keeps you stuck. Stop the trigger that leads to erosion of your sense of worth that is vital to make the lasting changes that you seek. Embrace the process, I guarantee you that you will like the results.

04 May 2013

Intention + Conviction = Results

No Comments Be More, Building Confidence, Decision Making, Do More, Empowerment, Fearless Living, Life Coaching

If you want something claim it in your gut.

Claim it with conviction – the unwavering knowing that you are on the right course. Conviction is what allows you to stay true to your path, it is the inner knowing that hard work will pay off. If, at first, the results are not obvious, conviction is the tool that you can use to keep yourself going. Most of life is doing the working part in order to arrive at the getting results part. In our immediate gratification world we are trained to believe that instantaneous is better. In real life when that doesn’t happen, many of us get trapped in fears and doubts that end up knocking us off the path.   With conviction you can decide to commit to the most important parts of your dream or goal. Having clarity on your intention helps you stick to it. Intention with conviction is unstoppable.

What can you do today to claim something you want with intention and conviction?

01 May 2013

Love Your Mammies!

No Comments Be More, Building Confidence, Empowerment, Fearless Living, Live your best Life, Love, Relationships

I am now old enough that I get mammograms as a part of my medical health coverage.  40 is the magic number. I have arrived! I get to go have my boobs squished!

Where I live, British Columbia, Canada, the medical system provides screening for women at 40. It took me 4 months, and a kick in the pants from one of my heroes that announced online that she had found something in one of her boobs. Sharing the way she did inspired me to love myself more, and I picked up the phone and immediately booked the big day. I will admit it has been on my mind and I was a little hyped up walking into the appointment.

The appointment was so quick and easy! While it was happening, it made me think I should be doing more yoga and had me calculating how many boobs this amazingly efficient radiologist literally HANDLED every day. At the end of the 4 minutes, I said, “That was easy!” and she said, “Spread the word.” It reminded me that some women, probably many women, don’t consider it an act of self-love to go and get this annual check. They ignore it, avoid it, fear it, and forget it. Whatever their reason, they don’t do it and it is such a shame. Many women I coach have little concern for their mammies outside of practical health matters. “Boobs just aren’t my thing,” laments yet another client, “I never let anyone see them!”

Here is what I know. As a woman, you need to embrace the power of your boobs! The spirit of the woman is expressed in the breast. Think about any cultural expression of the woman, and the breast is the expression of the feminine. There is a reason for this – to be a woman is to connect to your breasts. Mother’s who choose to nurse get to experience a deep knowing of their breasts. For better or worse a nursing mom has a relationship with her boobs for a period of time. Whether she continues this relationship with herself and her boobs, I believe can say a lot about her love relationships. For many women, self consciousness gets in the way and thoughts about size, shape, and partner appeal all come up. When this happens in relationships where the other partner is someone who is not good at practicing love, it usually leads to a lack of self worth which manifests in disconnection in the relationship. One of the biggest sources of relationship meltdowns have issues relating to the bedroom. I coach women to among other things to take responsibility for their own sexuality. Remember, in order to really love yourself, you must also face your sexuality, and take responsibility in getting your own sexual needs met. If you are leaving the boobs out, maybe you are missing out.

Here is a fact that I like to share with clients who are having a hard time connecting in their sexual relationships. Find ways to increase oxytocin, or the love hormone. For women, one of the easiest ways to do this is through nipple stimulation. Seriously, I just wrote that! But it is true! You can use your mammies to make you feel better, more connected, and increase your love hormone, oxytocin.

For women, boobs could be one of your missing link to loving and feeling good.  Do some research and discover how you can make better friends with your breasts. Make a commitment to keep this vital part of yourself healthy and happy. Get to know yourself, and take care of all of you. If you are in love with your boobs, then good for you, what else do you need to love a little more? Self-love and self-care show up in the strangest of places, but while I was getting my boobs squished it was there.

Here is a great article to get the health facts related to making friends with you boobs in the bedroom: http://scientopia.org/blogs/scicurious/2009/11/11/oxytocin-this-ones-for-the-ladies/

18 Oct 2012

In my next life, I’m going to be a Rock Star!

No Comments Fearless Living, JCI - Junior Chamber International, Live your best Life

This blog is from Beth. Just Beth.

Most of my blogs are from my Life Coach Beth voice.  I love to share tangible tips on how to live your best life.  I urge you to use powerful questions that get to the heart of whatever keeps you from letting your light shine.  I want you to be your best self and believe that everyone has something unique and amazing to contribute.  I believe for you, until you can believe it for yourself.  Writing my blogs has been a digging deep experience.  It is my one year anniversary of blogging.  Thanks for checking me out!  Your feedback and responses have been amazing.

Today as I sit to write, what’s really on my mind is the trip that I took a few weeks ago. It was to the JCI National Convention in Kimberly, and there I had the opportunity to remember the truth of who I am, and that truth is this…

In my next life, I’m going to be a Rock Star!

Far and wide, I would have to say that I am pretty much known as ‘Party Beth’.  I like to party!  And I am good at it!  I will admit, it can get pretty ridiculous at times, but the truth is my favourite place to be is party ring master.  I can sustain pretty heavy doses of toxic overload, and can survive on little sleep.  I have a very good tolerance, and although that is not the best way to treat my body, the truth is, if I could pick, I would rather die partying than any other way. I have had so many ‘Rock Star’ experiences in my life that I figure I must be in ‘training’ for my next magnificent life; the one where I am an actual Rock Star.

The thing is, I can also party completely sober and derive the same amount of JOY from it.  Because it’s the joy that is my goal!  I seek happiness, laughter, levity, companionship, friendship and joy, and I cannot think of a greater good then the pursuit of joy. At a wedding once, a fellow joy seeker came dancing up to me and yelled, “Look! How decadent, we are dancing!”.  I thought that was the best line I had ever heard.  How decadent indeed to fill yourself so full of the good stuff that you are actually dancing.

So, what brings you JOY? Partying and dancing do it for me, but many people don’t need or want to stand on tables and dance to experience joy; people roll in many different ways.  One of my greatest hopes is that everyone comes to realize and embrace the ‘Rock Star’ experiences that feed their soul, whatever they may be.

I had a completely JOY filled week at JCI Canada National Convention in Kimberly. I had several ‘Rock Star’ moments and experienced real JOY.  As usual I walked away wondering why JCI Canada does not have thousands and thousands of members like they do in Japan.  It is simply the best organization for 19-39 year olds in the world.  Check it out.

Here are some of my joy filled moments with some really great friends…

In our condo getting ready for Bavarian Theme night.

At the Gala Dinner last night of the Convention.

The three flights of stairs to get to the Condo where the JCI Okanagan crew stayed, were a big topic of conversation!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

13 Sep 2012

Don’t take this personally, but…

No Comments Building Confidence, Empowerment, Fearless Living

Don't Take It PersonallyStop.  Please make a promise to yourself that you will never utter this phrase again.

Everything is personal.  Most of us feel our emotions.  We don’t logic our way through most things that are personal, we usually feel them first.  When you say to someone, ‘don’t take this personally but…’ they immediately begin trying to figure out how they should feel about what you are sharing.   I bet we can all relate to being told something, and being okay with it in the moment. But then we go home, and upon reflection, start to feel badly about it.  That’s because we get into the feeling of it, and off we go into self-doubt, making up scenarios of how to rebut this unfounded statement, shame and self loathing around the thought that it could be true… on and on…

If you can catch yourself in this trap, this is good news!  It means you can work on getting OUT of this trap.   To get OUT of the trap of feeling BAD all the time, ask yourself this question.

AM I MAKING THIS PERSONAL?

What? I just asked you to never utter that phrase again?! Not quite!

The key to not taking things personally is to get into the habit of asking yourself,

Am I making this personal?

The reason all the feelings come up, as in the scenario above, is because many of us have the bad habit of taking things personal.  This is a natural tendency.  Essentially we want to be able to control what people think of us and we don’t want any of those thoughts to be bad.  We yearn to be seen as we really are, the whole picture, not just parts of ourselves, and we mistakenly think we can actually control our image to accomplish all that.

When we stop and ask, ‘Am I making this personal?’ it gets us out of our fear mode that tends to come up when we need to be right, or defend, or set the record straight etc.  When those feelings are present, it is usually the absolute worst time to respond to whatever it was that triggered those feelings. When you get into the good habit of stopping, and asking, ‘Am I making this personal?’ You can start to dismantle how those feeling want you to re-act, and instead be who you want to be.

Don’t let your reactions to life define you.   We all always have the choice to be who we want to be in this world.  Seriously, even if you have the worst boss, had the worst slight from a friend, or have the most tragic luck story going, those things need not define who you are and how you are showing up in the world.

Instead, choose not to make up stories in which you are responsible for something negative, or disrespected, or whatever is making you want to re-act.  Instead, decide to actively own what you discover IS personal (we could all use a little feedback from time to time after all), and dump the junk that isn’t yours to take on.  That worst boss in the world you have, might just have the most horrific home life you can imagine, and that slight from a friend wasn’t at all about you, but about her wanting to be seen somewhere else, and your tragic luck story isn’t about you at all if it actually really was just random bad luck.

Things happen, and humans behave badly all the time.  But it isn’t about YOU.  You are about you.  Take care of your person, and don’t insert yourself into places you don’t need to be.  After all, truth is, no one is thinking about you as much as you are thinking about you.