Archive for New Year

09 Jan 2014

This 2014, Coach Yourself

No Comments Be More, Building Confidence, Decision Making, Empowerment, Fearless Living, Free Coaching Tips, Goal Setting, Live your best Life, Motivation, New Year

Love YourselfCoach Yourself

Did you take a minute to get back on your feet after the New Year? What are you really proud of yourself for accomplishing in 2013? Did you make a list? Take the time to reflect on your past year to help yourself build a better year this year. Start with kindness and take your time.

Beth’s Coach Yourself Response

After doing my own exercises as outlined in, “Ease Your Way into the New Year,” in my new eBook, Build a Better Year, this is what I have come up with. Do the work, the work works.

 

Four things I am definitely going to do again in 2014:

Understand Patience. I am understanding more and more the necessity to sometimes have to wait. Life basically is being able to use the skill of patience to get you through. Just because I think I am ready doesn’t mean that I get what I want. I will be clear and willing to understand that my conviction will get me further than wallowing in impatience. In 2014, I will continue to practice patience.

Use the big picture to keep me solid. I say it all the time, LIFE HAPPENS. So, when confronted with a challenge of life, I am going to remember my big picture and how this incident weighs in. I am going to keep the thoughts that keep me connected to my big picture and I am going to confront and face the thoughts that keep me weighed down in worry.  I am going to vocalize my fears as a proactive way to get out of my head.

Say things out loud. I hold myself more accountable when I say things out loud.

I am going to keep getting coached! One of the best things I did last year was assemble my team of coaches. After all, “Nobody gets by on their own.” -Maya Angelou

Last year after going to Oprah in Vancouver, I committed to telling myself, “it’s okay, you got this.”  I am going to do that again.  

My New Year wish for you is that you get your “sign” to stay true to your course. Whether it is getting out of a relationship, getting into one, chasing your dream, or wishing that you had one, I hope that you get it.

In the mean time, here is to slogging through another year in the life of the one and only you.

01 Sep 2013

September Bubble

No Comments Building Confidence, Empowerment, Fearless Living, Goal Setting, Life Coaching, Live your best Life, Motivation, New Year

autumn_leavesSeptember has many expectations around it. As the end of summer approaches, many of us start putting things into the Back to School Bubble. When September comes I will eat healthier, go back to the gym, spend less, put the kids to bed on time, get back into the routine. September is a perfect bubble to send all of our promises of what we really want.  We fool ourselves into believing that when September comes we will be able to do it all.  That is the promise that September brings.

And in September that actually does happen – sort of. The kids do actually get back into a routine, and you do put them to bed at a good hour and you drag your butt back to the gym. And yet, there is still a lack of satisfaction. Before long we start to complain about the routine again, slip back into the same patterns, and create the new bubble called “in the New Year.”

Burst the September Bubble by getting clear. Name three things that you want to be able to say that you nailed by the end of September.

What is in your September Bubble?

ie. Eating healthier, getting more rest, spending less money.

Now ask yourself:

What does that actually mean?  List three actions that would lend themselves to these steps.

Eating Healthier

Meal Planning

Chopping Vegetables Sunday Night

Cutting out junk food

Getting More Rest

Going to bed at same time each night

Establishing a night-time routine

Writing in journal in quiet before lights out

Spending Less Money

Pay Bills on time

Live on Cash

Pack a lunch

Now that you see the items written down, it is actually a daunting list. This is exactly the trap. When we put stuff off into a bubble we assume that we are going to know how to do all that stuff when we get there. And we won’t.

Instead, sit back and look at the list again. Out of all of that, what actually seems reasonable and doable? What is jumping out for me is that two of the items on the list are interconnected. If I meal planned, I would pack a lunch thus enabling me to spend less, and eat healthier. Heck, if I did that, I might sleep better too!

These actions become doable when we get clear and connected to what we are doing.  Burst the September bubble by breaking up the sweeping declarations that you say around the summer time campfire. Get out a pen and break it down. The work always works. This September commit to sitting yourself down and getting clear about what’s in your bubble.

01 Feb 2013

Ready for a Fabulous February?

2 Comments Free Life Coaching Tips, New Year

FabulousFebruaryGive yourself a pat on the back, you made it through to the end of January!  What are you giving yourself credit for?  Did you do a little or a lot?  Did you have a plan for your New Year?  How is it working out?

A year, like anything has a life cycle.  I believe February is really the month that sets the tone for the rest of your year.  Stop and ask yourself some key questions about your New Year Intention, and check in with your progress in February.

Coach Yourself
What was your new year intention?  How are you living?  I am willing to bet that you did do a lot of great stuff to kick off your new year.  I encourage people to abandon hurling themselves into the year, and instead ease their way into the month of January.

Now, with the tone of LOVE at the centre of February, use these first days to get clear about where you are at so far.  Find five things to write down:

Here is an example from a client:

My intention for 2013 is to live a healthy lifestyle

-I am taking my water bottle to work everyday

-I shop around the outside of the grocery store first

-I gave up dairy for the month of January

-I have gone out walking with dog three days a week

-I went to one yoga class

February is the make or break month for habits to set in.  Whatever it is that you have been up to, remember it is new, it has only been five weeks since January 1. Likewise, it is only five weeks into a 52 week year.  My client could give up on going to yoga because she only went once in January, or she could decide she is going to shoot for three times in February.  She can choose to stay off dairy, or decide it isn’t really working for her and choose to eliminate something else for the next month.  She can give herself credit for packing a water bottle and walking her dog more often, and decide to stick to it.  She can feel proud for doing the grocery store challenge and keep it up.

That is really the key to intentional living.  You being willing to get clear about what you intend, and then gently checking back in on yourself at regular intervals.  Make a note of what is working, and give yourself credit and congratulations.  Decide to what you want to do more of and make more bench markers for the month ahead.

February is the month the really sets the tone for the year.  Decide you are going to take a moment to feel FABULOUS for what you have done so far in 2013 and recommit to your intention.

Have your year, your way.

19 Jan 2013

Ready for a Blissful New Year?

No Comments Empowerment, Goal Setting, New Year

If you read my last article and were kind enough to yourself to ease your way into the new year, then good for you!  The next step now is to work with the intention you created for yourself for 2013.  We used kindness as the first step in moving ourselves into action, and now it’s that time, taking action!

Recently, I worked with a client that reminded me of something I think is key to  making your resolutions real, and that is having the discipline to take action.

In our exchange, she gave me a new favourite word, “Blissipline”.

We were strategizing ways to embrace and practice using discipline to empower her to take action on the goals that she had for herself.  She understood that having an intention was the pathway for her to realize her dreams.  Her stumbling block however, was actually getting to it.

I understand this very well.  For some people discipline is a natural.  For others it feels like a constant struggle.  For the people who struggle with discipline, I believe it is useful to think of it as a skill.  Like any skill, you need to practice and diligently work on it.  Figuring out how to do this in your own authentic way is something a lifecoach can help you sort out.

My client shared that she thought disipline was a yucky word that she didn’t want to like.  She liked being free, disipline was a downer!  I asked her to consider another perspective and think about discipline as a great tool to handle the many pressures in life. This is particularly true for entrepreneurial personalities who can have 10 good ideas  a day and easily get distracted.  These are the people with too many things going on at once – they eventually end up overwhelmed.  When overwhelmed, you become ineffective, which leads to beating yourself up because you never accomplish anything.  This is a vicious cycle that many smart, capable people find themselves in. Eventually you may even subconsciously stop trusting yourself, and your confidence erodes.

The truth is that following your bliss takes discipline.  Bliss isn’t really about doing anything you want when you want to.  Real bliss is following your dreams, feeling accomplished, and creating and nurturing that thing which you hold dear.

Pretty hard to live your bliss with eroded confidence and a constant feeling of overwhelm.

We all have enough life experience to know that confidence increases after completing things.  Think of your top 5 most confident moments in life.  I am willing to bet that most of those five are related to finishing something. Completing that which you set out to do.  Knowing that when it comes down to it, you have the discipline to get the task at hand done.

Remember and remind yourself:

Following my bliss takes discipline.  Bliss isn’t really about doing anything I want when I want to.  Real bliss is following my dreams, feeling accomplished, and creating and nurturing the intention that I hold.

Get beyond the illusion that bliss just shows up.  Go out there and make it happen for yourself.  Use discipline as your means of getting it. Embrace discipline, and true bliss can be yours.

COACH TIP: How are you willing to embrace being more disciplined?  Here are three techniques that I recommend using daily to keep yourself on track, on course, and committed to your  intention.

1)If your current to do list, (either written, or being carried around in your head) is longer than 12 things, get a pad of paper and write down the three most important tasks you can complete today.  These will be more minor tasks, or parts of larger projects that you can tackle and complete in one day.  If you are working on a big project, break it down into tasks, and focus on 3 things in a day.

2)Tell a family member or friend what you are working on. Saying something out loud helps you to become more accountable to it.

3)Ask yourself… “if not now, when?”. Get clear about when you can do something, and schedule it in.  Putting things off with out getting clear of of when you will get back to it, is a trick of procrastination.

03 Jan 2013

Ease your way into the New Year

3 Comments Free Life Coaching Tips, Goal Setting, New Year

You did it! You made it through Christmas! Welcome to the other side! 2012 has arrived!

There is a lot of chatter going on right now about New Year’s Resolutions. Everything from resolving to spend more time with your kids, to shedding 40lbs, to saving your finances by buying an RRSP before the deadline! TV right now is all about buying fitness equipment and boxes of cleansing herbs and potions, and to do away with all our old habits.

 Yep, here we go, hurling ourselves into yet another year!

If you really want your new year to be about a new you, why not try something a little different this year? Decide that this year is actually going to be different because you are going to ease into the new year. What if this year, you started the year out by being kind? Kind to the person that means the most to you – yourself.

Generally I know that I am going to get better results if I treat myself with the utmost kindness. So, when thinking about the new year I am going to take time to truly reflect and get clear about what I want this next precious year of my life to be about.

Knowing exactly what I want on the stroke of midnight seems like a set up to me. I have been busy enjoying the fullness that is the month of DecemberI haven’t had the time to reflect on how my year has ended. That is what I think January is for. Time, space and quiet to reflect.

Hurling yourself into the new year with a list of terms and conditions that you are going to suddenly abide by sets you up for certain failure, let down and disappointment. All or nothing, cold turkey doesn’t usually work. That’s not to say that it CAN’T work, some people are really good goal setters and achievers. But, for the rest of us, all or nothing often doesn’t work.

Ease your way into 2012, by taking some time this month to consider your goals in the broader context of your life. Remember every year in December that feeling of “where has the year gone?!” Years go by quick. Think about your goals in the broader context of life and use that as a way to create intentions for the year ahead. Intentional living creates way more results then throwing sweeping declarations out that create expectations that end up setting us up to feel negatively about ourselves.

Intentional living gives you the guide to live by when the inevitable ups and down of life happen. You can decide how to measure your response to most things, and this helps you to be consistent. Consistency and commitment are key. Taking the time to get this part right is crucial in making your resolutions real this year.

Slow and steady does win the race!

If you would like to ease on down the road with me this 2012, I invite you join me at my Beyond Goals workshop on January 11If you are not in the Kelowna area I welcome your comments and thoughts, questions and challenges!  I am looking forward to constructing an amazing year with you. 

Thanks for reading!