06 Mar 2010

Live your best life…say goodbye to fear

1 Comment Live your best Life

Last week I left you with the assignment to start saying thank-you more often and to pay attention to the times when it was easier, when it was harder, or when you were deliberately not saying thank-you.

Withholding your inner most thoughts and feelings is a sure sign that fear is on patrol. Fear’s job is to keep you safe. One of the most effective ways fear accomplishes this is by keeping you stuck in your negative perceptions. Fear, or the voice of fear is really good at finding evidence to support its case, keeping you stuck.
Fear holds grudges against people, situations or events. When we keep score, hang on to our interpretation of events, or carry grudges and resentment, communication stops. We stop talking. If, out of guilt or shame, or embarrassment we don’t share our real feelings, our ideas or optimism becomes stifled. Do you follow the pack… shrink. Do you withhold information? Withholding is a powerful weapon.

Pay attention to where you withhold information. Do you keep things from your staff to protect them? Do you stand back instead of giving loved ones a hug? Casting the light of awareness on a common fear response, withholding, is an opportunity to consider where fear is in control.

Putting the light on yourself by doing these weekly coaching exercises has one ultimate intention, to increase your ability to be free. Where things feel good, life unfolds, and things work out. When we spend more time living in fear, we start to shut down, we stop talking, we don’t give thanks, show gratitude or grace, and stop happiness and optimism from walking in. We all can, and do shift from fear to freedom; some of us are just better at spending more time on one side of the spectrum than the other.

Make a list of five things you’d like to get off your chest. You don’t actually like scrambled eggs, I don’t like the way you treated me, it sucks that you are moving away, I love you. What ever little things you wish you could just say, write them down. That’s your homework. Pay attention to where you withhold. Do you withhold when you say no, and really your want to say Yes, or do you withhold thanks or praise? Do you withhold gestures of love or information? This week make a list of where you catch yourself withholding.

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Beth supports people in finding solutions to everyday problems!
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