09 Aug 2012

If you say so…

2 Comments Life Coaching, Live your best Life

Two of my most treasured mentors introduced me to one of my most powerful coaching reminders. In times when I have been trapped in the box that I can’t perceive myself out of, and have been busy justifying with all of my rationalizations of why this or that is true, they have sat back with me and pointedly said… “if you say so”.

The concept that thoughts are things is as old as civilization. There are a million experiences that tell us what we think comes into actual being through the beliefs, attitudes and perspectives we hold. I buy that. There is a ton of empirical research to back this up, and I would recommend giving my friend Stan Chung a read for more on this. I buy that this is true because I have seen it happen in my own life. Time and time again, when I have set my mind to something, it has happened. Whether it be good or bad, it happens. Likewise, when I don’t set my mind to something other things naturally occur as a result. I live my life by this perspective; thoughts are things. Using coaching techniques, I work daily on living by this credo, and I love to teach others how to do it for themselves.

It is called mindfulness. It is the daily practice of being aware of the dialogue in your head. Here are 3 steps for you to use as a powerful reminder in your own life – so that you are practicing the art of mindfulness daily.

1. The first step to being mindful is to pay attention to your thoughts. You must be active in this for it to really work. The goal is to get it out of your head. Some ways you can become more active in this is to commit to writing it out, talking it out, or even leaving yourself a voice memo. Here’s a scenario of what this might look like.

Let’s say you are wondering why you don’t have a relationship. You really want a relationship, you feel like you are ready for one, you long for it in fact! Sounds like you are doing the work for thoughts are things? How come it isn’t working?

Well, in talking with your close friends, and writing in your journal about the latest dating disaster you discover that you have threads of other beliefs coming through. Thoughts like, “there are no single women in this town for me”, “maybe I am just meant to be single”, “I am probably better off this way”, “relationships are too much work”, “I am happy by myself”.

2. When you notice this thought pattern coming up, be willing to stop and gently say, If You Say So. Doing that is like throwing a bucket of water on the spark that is coming to burn down with excuses all of your good intentional purposeful living. Those thoughts are the things that you are unintentionally manifesting in to your actual being.

3. Replace the thought. Now that you have taken the spark out of your voice of fear, allow yourself to think about what you do want.  “Everyday I am getting closer to my next relationship”, “there are 300,000 people in this town, there is someone here for me”,  “I am enjoying today, right here, right now”.

Disastrous dates, disappointing promotions, missed opportunities, loss. Life happens. One of the ways for us to empower ourselves no matter what’s happening is to practice mindfulness. Being mindful is paying attention to what being your are creating with the power of your thoughts. Be willing to remind yourself of this with the powerful reminder… IF YOU SAY SO

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Beth supports people in finding solutions to everyday problems!
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2 Responses to “If you say so…”

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