12 Apr 2012

Keep yourself going this Spring using Kindness

1 Comment Goal Setting, Motivation, Spring

KindnessYou may have noticed that we are already 4 months into the “New Year” and since a new season is upon us, I thought it would be timely to ask you to check back in on what your real new years resolutions have been?  At the beginning of the year, I urged you to “Ease your way into the New Year”.  Now as we enter into Spring (so naturally filled with anticipation and the hope of sunny days to come) I thought it would be to good to give you a reminder of how to re-energize your spring.  Kindness can become your ultimate motivating tool.  Many people are mistaken in believing that in order to motivate, stay on track or get things done they need strict discipline and all the hard line approaches that we associate with that.

When I think of kindness I urge myself to think of true kindness.  The caring, comforting, nurturing kindness we would treat a brand new baby with.  The type of kindness that uses intuitive hunches and works at looking at what the real underlying needs are.  Identifying the need and serving it.  That is what we do with newborns.  Can we apply that to ourselves?

Absolutely!  And we can use your goals list that you have been working with since January to get the momentum going again.

Think about your goals. Pick the top three that you really really really want to take care of.  Ask yourself, if I could reasonably do this in 60 days, would I feel really good?

For example, here are three typical goals:

  • Loose 25 lbs
  • Keep a clean house
  • Go to the gym

First of all, did you pick something that you can reasonably do in the next 60 days?  Immediately that changes the first one from 25 lbs to 8lbs.  Keep a clean house works if you are already super tidy and clean.  If that is something that you struggle with, then you need to define that goal further.  Ask, I would be really happy if I could….  Have the laundry done by Sunday night or keep the kitchen counters dish free and clean, or the floor swept every night after dinner. Watch out for sweeping declarations like “Keep a Clean House”.  How will you know when you have done enough? Will it ever be enough?  Same with “Go to the gym”, how many times do you want to go to the gym?  What days?  2 days? 7 days?  Define what “Go to the Gym” means.  So here is the more appropriate goal list.

  • Loose 8 lbs in the next 60 days.
  • Keep the kitchen counters clean and clear, sweep the floor every night after dinner, laundry picked up and in hamper & done by Sunday night
  • Go to gym 3 days a week for the next 4 weeks.

Now with respect to each of those things, ask yourself:

What would I have if I achieved this goal?

If I had that, how would I feel?

If I was feeling that way, what would I do?

If you are unable to really connect to the feeling that comes up from asking those questions, I dare say you are ill prepared to realize those goals.  That is the trap of unkind goal setting. Being unable to connect or feel what it is that you really want is a set up so that you continue to use punitive methods of self motivating.

Here is an example of how someone might talk their way through these goals using kindness as their operating system:

Loose 8 Pounds.  If I lost 8lbs I would have a feeling of satisfaction.  If I had that I would feel better about myself.  If I felt better about myself I would have more energy to loose even more weight.

Keep a clean house.  If I had a clean house I would feel more calm and sorted out.  If I had that, I would have more clarity.  If I was more clear I could accomplish more, and I would feel more at peace.

Go to the gym.  If I went to the gym 2 times this week I would feel like I accomplished something.  If I accomplished that, I would be over the hump and back in the gym.  I want to just keep getting myself back into the gym.  If I did that, I could be satisfied that I was making an effort.

If you look at the common themes of all of these answers, you can see that the feelings that are coming up are things like, satisfied, calm, clear, accomplished.  Those words evoke feelings.  When kindness is our operating system we can connect to what we really want to feel which become the basis for our intentions.

Thoughts are the basis of feelings. Feelings are really the foundation of our intentions.  If you work on kindly managing your thoughts, how you feel will naturally follow.  Where we naturally follow actually become our true intentions.

If you really want to continue creating your best year yet, I urge you to pay attention to your thoughts, your feelings and what your true intentional living pattern is.  When you are aware, you can notice when you shift off course into negative thoughts and feelings.  Choose then to kindly nudge yourself back to what you really want. Remind yourself: “what I really want is to feel satisfied, calm, clear and accomplished”, if I don’t go to the gym tonight, I won’t get to feel that.  I am going to be kind, and go get those good things for me.  I am going to the gym!

Kindness truly brings about the power to make our intentions real.

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Beth supports people in finding solutions to everyday problems!
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One Response to “Keep yourself going this Spring using Kindness”

  1. Plant your Seeds this Spring | Constructing Life Coaching says:

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