23 May 2013

Isolation

No Comments Be More, Building Confidence, Do More, Empowerment, Fearless Living, Life Coaching, Live your best Life, Motivation, Relationships

isolatedcatNobody but nobody gets by on this earth on their own. -Maya Angelou

What assumptions are you making about life that includes the thought or feeling that you must do it alone? What about the thought or feeling that you have tried to connect but there just isn’t anyone out there for you. Are you feeling like a reject? Like you can’t fit in? That you are just doing it wrong?

Those thoughts and feelings are fear based. When you have them you have an opportunity to stop the soundtrack of unworthiness that is keeping you stuck and unfulfilled.

One of the best ways to do this is to talk it out. Everyone needs someone that they can air all of this out with. Happy people have this quality in common – relationships. Happy people have a sense of connection and belonging that makes all the rest of the crap of life worthwhile.

If you do not have your go to people, then what do you have? How do you process all that STUFF that goes on in your head? How do you possible get perspective on it all?

Isolation is one of the deepest, most painful expressions of unworthiness. Unless you are really, really good at meditating and visit ashrams often, I urge you to think about who you get by with on this earth. If you feel you are coming up short, here are 3 tips to get you out there and finding your people.

1) Hire me! I coach many people who experience isolation. Working with me works because I assist you in gaining perspective. When you have perspective you can work on shifting yourself into thoughts, feelings and patterns that will get you moving in your desired direction. You will get better results quicker with me than you will on your own. I guarantee that.

2) It is painful to do, but work on becoming a “joiner” The only way to get more of the good stuff is to get out there and join.  A trait common in people who feel isolated is that they do not like to get involved in organizations.  Lack of worth keeps them stuck at home. Thoughts like “what do I have to offer anyone”, keep them from walking dogs at the SPCA, or take a pottery class.  If you are isolated and don’t have your people, you are going to have to commit to getting out and meeting them.

3) Don’t expect to meet your new best friend every time you muster up the courage to get out and do something. Don’t let the results of your first few steps outside of your comfort zone change the truth. Everyone needs to find a place in the world where they feel that they belong. If you are not getting it from your work, or family, then you must go and find that space for yourself. It never ceases to amaze me when clients face the fear of putting themselves out there and the uncomfortable feeling of getting to know people, how much better they start feeling about themselves. Feel better, do better, be more happy. Nobody gets by on this earth on their own. What is keeping you stuck in the belief that you have to?

15 May 2013

Change is a Process, Not an Event

No Comments Be More, Decision Making, Empowerment, Fearless Living, Life Coaching, Live your best Life, Motivation

changeA classic trap of fear is to innately believe that you are fundamentally flawed and won’t ever get “there.” There are things we long for like, “to be comfortable in my own skin” or “that I will like myself” or that “I won’t be lonely anymore.” Thoughts like this damage your ability to continue on your path with the conviction that is required to actually make changes in your life.

Drop the lie that you can ever really “arrive.” Anything worth having in life requires conviction, work, and then maintenance. When you embrace that life is a process you are  then better able to help yourself shift to the mindset of adjusting and carrying on when things get tough. When you drop the belief that you are innately flawed you are allowed to take responsibility for yourself. There isn’t some big hidden mystery of why you are so screwed up! You are believing a fear based lie that keeps you stuck. Stop the trigger that leads to erosion of your sense of worth that is vital to make the lasting changes that you seek. Embrace the process, I guarantee you that you will like the results.

04 May 2013

Intention + Conviction = Results

No Comments Be More, Building Confidence, Decision Making, Do More, Empowerment, Fearless Living, Life Coaching

If you want something claim it in your gut.

Claim it with conviction – the unwavering knowing that you are on the right course. Conviction is what allows you to stay true to your path, it is the inner knowing that hard work will pay off. If, at first, the results are not obvious, conviction is the tool that you can use to keep yourself going. Most of life is doing the working part in order to arrive at the getting results part. In our immediate gratification world we are trained to believe that instantaneous is better. In real life when that doesn’t happen, many of us get trapped in fears and doubts that end up knocking us off the path.   With conviction you can decide to commit to the most important parts of your dream or goal. Having clarity on your intention helps you stick to it. Intention with conviction is unstoppable.

What can you do today to claim something you want with intention and conviction?